Done

I am done. I am done being terrorized by her and you letting her terrorize me. This relationship was suppose to be a dream come true but it has just been a nightmare the entire time because I have been worried about her the entire time. The fact that you put her feelings before mine speaks volumes about our relationship and how you feel about me. You are so worried about her feelings and hurting them but what about mine? I am suppose to be your fiance, I shouldn't feel like I am second to any female. For whatever reason you refuse to let her go and I won't put up with it anymore. I am done. You clearly do not want to be with me, so I am releasing you so you can be with her.

Crossroad

So I am sitting at the office at Quiktrip for an interview. Yesterday Anderson Hospital called about my application. I am so lost and confused. I don't know which route to take. It is stressing me out. Boyfriend can tell it is tearing at me mentally. I don't even know why I am stressing because I don't know anything about the Anderson job. It could be one that just doesn't work for me at all. All I know is that I want to get through school and everything be okay. I am tired of being poor. I am tired of being stuck.

All I want is to crawl back into bed with Boyfriend and rest.

Crazy For You Baby

I wish I could turn the crazy off. I wish that I could make it go away, make it somehow stop.

But I can't. It consumes me, eating away at me like a parasite that's settled in my mind and stomach.

I am too naive, too blind. It's so easy to lie to me, to play me like a fiddle that I don't even notice that it's not my tune coming from me.

I am too damaged, too broken.